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Excerpt from “Perpetua’s diary” by Gillian Conoley

Excerpt from “Perpetua’s diary”

We were left no original papyrus, vellum no parchment.

Though a redactor soon after 203 CE, date of her martyrdom,

is certain: “she wrote in her own hand and from her own

experience.”

Felicitas––

Perpetua’s Egyptian slave servant/rumored lover––they

are both described

in prison with disheveled hair as though

let loose like Latin’s subordinate

clauses––

“I was languishing because I had seen languishing” was one of

Perpetua’s phrases

ferrying us through time––

Soon before she receives a vision.

“A golden ladder of marvelous light

“Very narrow” only one person at a time could ascend

each side fixed

“ with swords, lances, hooks, daggers”

so if one slipped

one’s flesh “would cleave to the iron”

Her brother––among other catechumens––pagans converted to

Christianity but not yet

baptized–– was first to climb.

He called back down, come, Perpetua, but watch for the

dragon’s bite.

So she calls on God (who she has come to trust) for help, and

slowly, not to scare––

the dragon lifts his head

to serve as the lowest rung on the ladder

on which she steadies her first step

“I trod upon his head”

To garden of “immense extent”

And four angels who lift with no

touch

A white haired “shepherd of a large

stature

who gave me cheese as it were a little

cake“

“I received it with folded hands

and understood that it was to be a passion, not an escape,

and ceased to have any hope in this world.”

"Perpetua's Diary" first appeared in Notes from the

Passenger by Gillian Conoley, Nightboat Books, New York,

2023.

"Perpetua's Diary": Saint Perpetua invented the diary in 203 CE

in a Roman prison in Carthage while awaiting execution. Her

writings are considered one of the earliest Christian texts. The

diary is believed to have been edited and redacted by her

contemporary Tertullian who claims to have been an eyewitness

to her martyrdom, though there remains no definitive scholarly

evidence.



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